Almost Here..

Did I hear you right
'cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause youre only almost here

I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered how it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause youre only almost here

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you
You're almost here
Well I never knew how far behind i'd left you
And when I hold you your almost here
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted
And now I'm with you I'm close to tears
'cause I know I'm almost here
Only almost here

*this songs by delta goodrem and brian mcfadden.. no reason why im posting it here. i juz heard it and tot it was really nice.. and coz itz really makes me think..

Totally Random Mind

I have forgotten what my email acc password is.. and given my totally random state of mind i wudnt be surprised if im nv able to rmb it.

Dammit i have so many precious/important stuff in there i need. ARGHHHHHHH!!!!

Can anyone who's damn brillant with the computer help me to hack into my acc and get me my password? Please...

Say good bye..

Today brought to mind a Jay Chou song "jie kou". Since i cant blog in chinese, the song lyrics are loosely translated here (with some help from bixia)

Flipping through our photo album
And missing you.
During last year's winter
we were smiling so happily.
Looking at your tear streaked face
saying good bye to me.
But i cudnt hear you
you've already walked so far away.
Maybe you've already given up on me.
Maybe it's too late to go back.
I know that it's my fault
But please give me another reason why you say you dont love me.

Even if i dont understand
can you please forgive me?
Please dont make breaking up your only wish.
I know you want to leave because you're hurting.
But please turn back
I am willing to walk with you to the end.
Even if it doesnt work out
at least i can bear with that.
I know your pain
is caused by me.
You said that you've already given me a chance
And i accept this silence.

If you have to go, please remember me.

If you're sad, then please forget me.


Its not exactly how i feel, but its accurate enough. I dont know what the future will be like but i know im gonna deal with it. After all ive done it before havent i? But somehow things are different. It's harder to forget now. And i admit it.. Im heartbroken, im hurting and im scared. But i gotta face the facts. Theres no pt looking back.. the future is the other way. Forgeting you is the only way i can deal with this pain.

Oh mannn... this has gotta be one of the hardest things ive got to do in this life. I dont know how im gonna survive. But i juz noe tt i will. I have to.

Im missing you already. But ill stick to my deicision. All things happen for a reason. I guess this one's for me to practice building brick walls.

Damn.

Finally

Yes, finally an update. The computer's been erratic and itz been really hard to find time to blog.

Speaking of time, it seems tt i lost track of it for a while. But then again if ur mind is out there somewhere itz kinda easy to lose track of a lot of things. Time for example... and people. So now tt ive gotten back here im left to deal with the consequences of my prolonged spaced out-depression thing.

To think tt i tot yr 2004 was going great and tt 2005 wud be juz as good.. look what happened.

I guess we've all gotta deal with change all the time. But when theres so much changing in such a short period of time things juz get confusing.. Im oready regretting doing/not doing some stuff. And now tt ive juz gotten back on earth i really dont need to be sent out to space again. Tho it seems tt everyone is pretty intent on doing tt to me.

I noe i shudnt be thinking like tt... I juz cant help but think tt it wud be a hell lot easier if i juz took a bullet to the head and get it over with. Or take a flight to planet happyland and stay there.

Can i start yr 2005 over again please?